Yep, roughly 1 hr and 22 min has passed since my 18th birthday. By the way, this post was started on sunday and continued on the 1st of August, 1.22AM.

Finally, man, i'm 18. I've been waiting for this day for sooooooooooo long. Y? There're reasons, of course, contributing to my desire to reach 18 faster.

1. I wanna go into cinema and buy M18 movie tickets.
2. I wanna enter the casinos and show the assholes my IC proudly.
3. I wanna get my car licsense soon.
4. I wanna go into 7-11 and buy alcohol without the shopkeeper constantly shooting me looks tt questions my age.

Faggot sia, it's not my fault if i was born with a baby face, rite? Besides, i thought my height was more than enough to make up for it, but tt doesn't seem to be the case.

-

Held a bbq on sat to celebrate my bday. Sad part was, quite a lot of the ppl i invited pang suey me at the last min sia, damn. Especially the ppl from IJC. In fact, it was so cham tt only one guy from IJC could turn up, my dear fa-ge.

Man, y does IJC have to hold Meet-The-Parents session on sat? Should slap the principal when i see her, she freaking hell got no common sense to set it on sat. Normal ppl set such stuff on weekdays, not weekends. U ppl are breaking the golden rule of MOE, tt indicates 5 day wk working schedule sia.

But then again, i'm still kinda glad i escaped from the demonic claws of IJC.

-

• 4pm.
• Arrival of animal gang.
• They brought two cakes with 'em.
• And made themselves at home.
• So i went to bathe.
• And zhun zhun when i went out, Augustine and Nikki came.
• So i need to go MRT station, they dun wanna stay in the hse with the animal gang, they came with me.
• Went to MRT station.
• Damn, a lot of last-min pang suey me.
• Was getting worried tt almost nobody was coming.
• Well, looks like only ppl from poly give face.
• Only one guy from jc give face, wtf.
• So we went off.
• Arrived.
• Er jie got fire started.
• I went to start fire at the other pit.
• Damn la, she got some rly lousy quality fire starters tt goes out easily.
• Saw sth shocking later, animal gang disappeared and suddenly, 6 indians came outta nowhere.
• Was feeling kinda creepy, u dun see a chinese turn into an indian very often, let alone 6.
• Turns out, those idiots went off to do their own business.
• Insociable assholes.
• So bo bian, i stayed there trying to make 'em get to noe each other better.
• Arrival of ju and jy.
• The two queens took their time to come so tt they dun have to help out with the cooking.
• Man, how smart can a person be.
• Lost my HP.
• Found my HP.
• Played some games, hoping to let everyone get to noe each other better.
• In my opinion, it kinda worked and flopped.
• Wat was amusing was how Augustine could actually sing out the china national anthem.
• Muz ask him to teach me full version one day.
• Went to fetch Kelvin.
• My god, animal gang tt came back disappeared again.
• So we play milking gameXD
• Saw 'em come back, they say it's time for cake cutting.
• Had a bad feeling when i saw yongwen's face, tt sucker always make devil-like faces when he hatches the master plan.
• Well, my bday celebration, hard to escape from.
• So i closed my eyes, made my wishes.
• And found myself in the exact situation as a soldier when he was at Pearl Harbour.
• The worse part was, the water balloons were TOO gd quality.
• Instead of bursting, i felt like i got whooped by the water balloons.
• Man, to make things better, pig hatches another master plan.
• He cut a big slice of the cake and asked me to do a stunt of taking the candle holder outta it.
• And nice one, cuz when i thought he was gonna slam it in my face, he didn't.
• He only slammed it after i thought it wasn't coming.
• Is this nice timing?
• Finally, got sexually assulted.
• Freaking Jasmine attempted to pull my shorts.
• Shit la, it's not my fault i'm almost twice her height.
• To make things worse, got gangraped by 'em.
• I'm so glad to make it back alive...............

So immediately after we went back, da jie started a mahjong session faster than the speed of sound. Man, tt woman can go mad when it has to do with mahjong. And so, the guests have to leave, so sad, in the end, only pig, bear, fa-ge and royston staying overnite.

Man, tink i owe fa ge one for giving me face and attending this celebration. Thankx pal, appreciate it.

-

So on sunday, they left early in the morning and i went to bed. Was too tired to send 'em off, so i retired 'early' and woke up at 6+ pm later. Man, i should stop staying awake throughout the nite, it's rly not so gd for my body.

Wat was shocking was during my absence, mum, da jie and er jie took the chance to watch the Last Dance thingy VCDs tt crab juz lent. And shockingly, they finished half the box in one day's time. To make things worse, mum's watching is a 2nd time after she finish watching. Man, she juz earned herself the 'Korean Drama Auntie' title.

-

Juz received an sms from someone unexpected. How should i put it, it was rly unexpected. But thx ah, for still rmbring me. :)

Happy birthday, Han Ming a.k.a Sekundes a.k.a Kelv a.k.a Ah Niu Ge a.k.a kukunut a.k.a Hantu a.k.a Worm.

i've got attitude; 9:54 pm

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Tag by meow to do this. The only time she writes proper entries is through the use of these tags.

3 schools i went to.
-Merlimau Pri
-Jurong Sec
-Innova JC

3 things in my bag
-Wallet
-Laptop charger
-Clothes consisting of t-shirt and shorts

3 things i like to do when i am stressed
-Sleep
-Pia games like crazy
-Stay awake until goodness-noez-wat-time

3 places i go by a daily basis
-Ngee Ann poly
-Home
-Clementi Interchange

3 fav fruits
-Winter Melon
-Water Melon
-Banana

3 names i go by
-Sekundes
-Ah Niu Ge
-Han Ming

3 of my favourite food
-Pizza
-Sushi
-Chicken Rice

3 things i'm wearing now
-T-shirt
-Pants
-Underwear

Who is in the house with me now.
-My two sisters and my mum, all 3 watching some korean drama VCD tt crab juz lent to us.

Who am i tinking abt right now
-Some asshole, i guess. But maybe he wasn't an asshole to begin with.

Who did i last talk with on the phone
-Tt'll be jy, who tried to wait for the bus 98 at 12.15 midnite.

Who did i sit with during the 5th period of my class
-Hell if i noe, it's at the LT and we anyhow sit, so u nvr noe who u'll be sitting with,

Who was the last person i last uttered love to
-LOL, hell if i noe.

Who do i wish i am with right now.
-No one in particular loh.

Where is my phone now
-Juz beside me, thought i lost it juz now.

Where do i sleep normally
-My bed, tt no one else should slp on, supposedly.

Where is the place i last took a ride to
-Lakeside MRT ba.

Wat were the last things i juz ate
-Rice
-Otah
-Capsicum

Wat colour shirt i'm wearing now
-Blue

Wat is the closest thing to me tt's blue
-..............

Wat do i like most abt the sch
-The slacky lessons

What is my fav colour
-Blue

What do i wear most often, jeans or shorts
-Shorts

What is the last movie i watched
-Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest

When did i first start sch
-13 yrs ago

When did i last go to the mall
-The day before

When did i last burn sth
-Around 8months ago?

-

i've got attitude; 12:56 am

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Couldn't find time to blog, but finally got a chance. So while i'm at it, i'm gonna make it an ultra long entry. Ya rdy?

Ez-Link

Currently mourning for the loss of my ez-link. In fact, despite the fact tt a full 4 days has passed, i still couldn't get over it. I COULD HAVE used it for another 5 months before it freaking hell expire. U got any idea how expensive adult fare is?

Normal kiddie fare: $0.45

Normal adult fare for same journey: $1.17

OH, THE PAIN............................... My heart was aching when i used the poly ez-link card today la. Freaking bus driver, if i see him, he's gonna diiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

• Went home on fri.
• Boarded this bus 154, a lot of ppl tried to get in.
• Got struck downstairs and right beside the driver.
• So, tapped my card and wanted to tok to ming cheng.
• Bus uncle suddenly asked me to take out my ez-link card and show him.
• Having zero security, i took it out and gave it to him, the blue one.
• And tt freako looked at it for a long time.
• And kept telling me primary sch students uses it
• I shoot back at him, telling him jc students use it too.
• And tt idiot actually looked at me and tell me he's gonna confiscate it.
• So i said, i dun have anymore ez-link cards(which is a lie la) and tt if he takes away this one, wat am i gonna use.
• Seems like bus uncles are more clever than i thought.
• He wasn't convinced and gave me two pieces of paper
• They read:

Sorry, ur card has been retained.

For GIRO/VISA-enabled ez-link cards, refund will be credited directly into the GIRO/VISA applicant's bank account within 14 working days, if no further investigation is required.

For non GIRO/VISA-enabled ez-link cards, pls call TransitLink Hotline at 1800-225-5663 after 5 working days from the date on this Advice.

Please retain the Advice and the Test Receipt issued to you.

Please quote the serial no. and the Card ID when you call TransitLink.

Thank You for your co-operation.

CO-OPERATE MY FOOT, SINCE WHEN DID I SAY U CAN CONFISCATE MY EZLINK CARD?

-

The other one read:

Your pass is retained for investigation.

It's becuz of this simple msg tt makes me dare not bring this two receipts to the MRT station to claim my ez-link. Becuz if i go, a few consequences might happen.

1. They'll gimme back my ez-link card without any words.
2. They'll gimme the money inside, but not the card.
3. They'll gimme a fine for using student fare when i'm supposed to be upgraded to adult fare.
4. They'll ask me to f*** off.

Man, big risk to take. Couldn't concentrate at all during OBC lecture becuz half of my mind was on this, the other half was on ICBE test.

-

Classmate

Finally, it would seem tt i kinda escape the fate of only being able to get along with gals. Yesh, comrades, my gang now consist of ONLY guys in my class, so thank goodness i'm not turning gay or sth.

But there was this rly funny guy in my class la. He did sth unbelievable and hardcore, which made me wanna laugh like siao.

• Guy saw gal he like in class.
• Fell in love at first sight.
• He freaking hell go and confess after the third day he juz met her.
• Gal was like, .................................
• Supposedly, he got no reply.
• And gal kept avoiding him.
• So, it was a GG for him.
• And yep, it rly was a gg, cuz the gal juz got herself a boyfren last wk.
• So, sad guy started playing heart-break songs.
• God, if not for his sad story, i swear i'd whacked him with my laptop.
• He was BLASTING THE SONGS LA.

And thus, guys, this is a hell of a bad example to learn from. Rmbr, take ur time, be slow and steady, for haste does not make pace.

-

GL Meeting

Was supposed to meet my classmates to play dota after CATS on wed. This is our way of spending the long 6 hrs before the GL meeting. But freaking hell, there was a communication breakdown. Tt guy told me to meet at LSCT blk, and when i wanted to call him, my hp got no battery. To top things off, no one was at the LSCT, no one familiar. So i got du lan, went home, slp.

In the end, the next time i saw tt guy, tt asshole told me change to meet at atrium. Shit la, muz make sure i charge my hp for tml.

So i went home to slp, overslpt, woke up at 6pm, got a big shock for GL meeting starts at 6.30pm. So i practically race to the bus stop and thankfully, luck was on my side. So i boarded the bus and headed to NP.

In the end, was only 20min late. But i saw sth horrifying tt made me determined not to be late again.

Their punishment:

1) Go up, intro urself and tell anyone y u're late.

IMAGINE TELLING THEM U OVERSLEPT WHEN IT'S ALRDY 6PM. Man, they'll probably tink i'm some regular from IMH.

2) Get a sneak attack from the seniors.

Their sneak attack was definitely dangerous. It is called Harley, and i won't go into details becuz i'm alrdy shuddering to tink tt it almost happened to me last wk.

-

City Hall

Went to City Hall to meet crab and pig. Apparently, crab wanna buy an e.drive and modem, cuz he was running outta space and couldn't go online, modem was spoilt. So i went there to see see look look with him.

Wat was amusing was the fact tt his mum and dad still insisted on repairing tt computer tt has broken down for goodness-noez-how-many times. The last time i rmbr, they were gonna repair it at roughly april, and they're sending it for repairs now again.

If i was crab, i would have argued like shit until my parents lemme buy new com. No use keeping the old one tt keeps crashing and going out-of-commission for no good reason.

As for the modem, i got no comments. Crab, juz stick to plugging in the internet cable into ur laptop, i doubt u'll be able to change to starhub till next yr.

So i freaking hell spend the nite at his hse. Wat was sooooooo fucked up abt his room is tt when he switches on the air con, it gets rly freezing. And i'm the type who gets freezed up easily, so u can see me covering myself with a blanket sneezing away. In fact, it was so cold tt i couldn't tahan and got outta the room to slp on the sofa in his living rm.

By rite, my two sisters weren't coming home for the nite. One didn't, whereas the other one last min changed plans and called my hp to nag at me again. Wat sia, i thought u wanna spend more time with lawerence?

-

Taxi

Was feeling kinda fed up for some reason, probably becuz of how expensive the adult fare is. So i decided to take a taxi home from crab's hse. This is when it all went wrong.

My affinity for taxis is definitely not there. I swear, i stood on the taxi stand waiting for a taxi, and 20 over taxis pass by me, either having customers inside or have a 'Hired' sign on top. So i got so fed up tt i gave 'em the last chance. If i can't take the next 5 taxis, i'll take the MRT home.

I supposed u alrdy guessed the results. Let's juz be a poor citizen and stick to trains.

So when i reached home, mum alrdy came back from cruise and learnt of my staying at crab's hse. And she was the type who rather my frens come over to stay than let me go to frens' hse to stay. So u can imagine how angry she was. Thank goodness i forsaw tt, and brought out my secret weapon: Korean Drama VCDs, one tt the Da Chang Jin gal and the Dong Ji Lian Ge guy acted in. Heh heh heh, juz like tt, i ensured my safety. V for Victory.

-

Teacher

My maths teacher is a rly boring teacher, i have the habit of falling asleep in her classes lately. But man, she definitely is the auntie version of Lara Croft. Not becuz of her boobs or face, but becuz of how she shoots students by indirectly insulting 'em.

In fact, my classmate was one who kena her shootings.

Cuz my classmate nvr did any hmwk, so he was being targeted by her. On a fine day, i can't rmbr wat she said, but her comments cause the whole class to roar with laughter. Well, partly becuz while saying it, her voice went exceptionally high. Man, it's like getting a headshot by an Artic.

Yep, she carries an Artic in left hand, Desert Eagle in right hand and a shotgun hangs on her back.

-

Seek further, and ye shall succeed

i've got attitude; 2:08 pm

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Long time since i last blogged. Well, i'm suffering from lack of inspiration, so if u tink u can blog better than me, i'll let u help me blog one entry.

Btw, i've got nth to do with North Korea's missiles. Absolutely nth.

Went to sch with the same shitty feeling i get on every mondays. Can't help it, man, who in the blue world would feel excited abt going to sch early in the morning?

So, after 3 hrs of lesson, we went to have lunch at canteen 2. Tt was when i saw her.

Carrying a paper bag, wearing a mini mini skirt, she approached me while i was sitting down and juz finished eating. Since it's a mini mini skirt, and i WAS sitting down, u can imagine roughly wat i saw. And she took out this plastic bag filled with one container of chocolate fondue and cut-fruits-on-a-stick. So, she asked if i wanna buy one.

Given the guy i am, i would have said no if the salesman was some guy, but this time, it's a chiobu with quite a nice figure and gd fashion sense.

And crap, i dun rly like the taste of it and it seems like a waste of food to throw it away. Tt's when i rmbr i had a chocolate lover fren who loves all kinds of chocolate and she goes by the name of esmine.

And well, u can pretty well guess wat happened next.

-

Went home at roughly 7am on sunday. Yep, i stayed outside the whole nite. Due to ultra suey luck tt we had, me and pig camped at crab's hse till 6am the next day.

We went to watch Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest. Watched the 8.30 movie, expecting it to end at roughly 10+. Who would have expected tt they freaking hell lasted for almost 3hrs?

And thus, we missed the last train.

By the way, it's a quite a gd movie, but rmbr to watch the part 1 before u watch this one.

And so, we spend the whole nite toking and toking and toking in crab's rm. I tink we were getting kinda gong gong from lack of slp, so we juz kept on toking and toking, jumping from here to there and back to here again.

-

Gonna slp early tonite, feeling damn tired now.

i've got attitude; 8:12 pm

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Ya, i'm gonna be a GL starting from now.

For no good reason, i passed the interviews and is well on my way to becoming a GL. And juz when i thought the whole thing was a disaster. Wat made me so sure tt i won't pass it, was the fact tt the GLs asked the exact kinda qns tt i predicted, and it pisses me off. U would have thought they might become a bit more creative, but man, no one bothers to tink of new ones.

So, i'm gonna fulfill my wishes and create a new set of qns to ask the freshies next yr. At least it gives 'em a bit of surprise and adds some spice to life.

It's like, i was damn confused when they asked me the qns la. I was confused by how to answer 'em, becuz i wasn't sure to take the honest or ideal policy. For example, they asked wat will i do if a freshie wanna go home halfway through the camp?

Honest: Since tt guy wanna waste his goddamn money, then i will waste no time in asking him to pack his bags and tell him to get the *tooooooooooot* outta my sight la. Still waste time, money and effort to come to this camp, then leave halfway.

Ideal: I will do all i can to convince the freshie to stay, and let him realise tt it's important to stay and make new frens.

In the end, i mixed both and i got this.

Both: I'll try to convince tt kid to stay, but if he rly wanna go, then i'll let him go, becuz he's matured enough to make his own decisions and noe wat he's doing.

Man, i supposed i should stop getting influenced by my mum and be a honest guy.

-

Went to some temple thingy on friday. I thought it was the type whereby they auction to raise their funds, but man, was i wrong or wat.

In fact, i was so wrong to the extent of even agreeing to go.

There were ppl singing on top of the stage. It would be ok if they were singing normally, but they sure weren't. There was this guy's voice which might have sounded normal if he was offstage, but they freaking hell have to go amd set the volume of the speakers to the loudest. And their ppl, a person singing on the top of the voice and a speaker with the loudest volume isn't a very gd combination.

In fact, it got the power to make my hair stand, inclusive of leg ones.

And wat was rly outstanding abt it was the food. Yes, when i ate the first dish, i alrdy predicted tt i'll buy supper after the whole thing has ended. I noe vegetarian food doesn't taste very nice, but theirs is outta this world.

I tink they're using blackmail. Donate money to us, or we'll make ur tongues and ears suffer. Man, and the police are complaining abt how slack their job is.

-

i've got attitude; 11:36 pm

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One nite no aircon, it feels kinda like hell
Becuz the aircon freaking hell leaked water.

One nite no aircon, it feels kinda like hell.
And it's nice timing, on a summer's nite!!!

People say air con no good...........
Juz becuz it uses more electricity
But they nvr see TV........
Becuz now can save on air con bills......

One nite no aircon, one can rly die from it.......
Especially when the nite is so freaking hot.....

One nite no aircon, i cannot go to slp.......
I'm they type who rather freeze than burn.....

No aircon, so cham. I'm rdy to drop dead.....
No aircon, so hot. Y is it not raining???
No aircon, so fucked. Y the timing so zhun.....
No aircon so sian. I rly wan it back.......

One nite no aircon!!! One nite no aircon!!! One nite no aircon!!!!

-

Use the one nite in beijing music to sing the lyrics i created. For it freaking hell is my current situation, damn it.

-

Today is a real sucky day. Sun is blazing la, so sunny tt i thought i'll actually melt if i stay under it for more than 10min. In fact, i couldn't tahan it so much tt after going to crab's hse, i juz took a cab straight home.

Man, heat doesn't suit me very well.

Crab's trying to install a wireless router in his hse. Problem is, he got lack of knowledge and he's a lousy idiot. So when i went over and check it out myself, it's also becuz his modem is spoilt. Eh crab, two words for u, good game.

If tml's gonna be as hot as today, i'm seriously gonna pon sch. Can't study well when there's heat.

i've got attitude; 12:36 am

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From now on, people who come to my hse is forbidden to gamble, no matter wat, how, when, where, why. There's a reasoning behind it, everytime i gamble with people in my hse, and when i say gamble, money is involved. Ya, so everytime ppl gamble in my hse, they tend to lose money and the money enters my pocket.

Although i was born without any morals, it would appear tt i still have a conscience.

So when ppl lose money in my hse, i tend to become very troubled and try to find some way or other to return 'em. Last yr's chinese new year was a damn gd example.

• Chinese New Year came.
• JJC first 3 months classmates happily came over my hse, with the intent to gamble
• At tt time, i didn't noticed the aura in my hse.
• So, those idiots played black jack.
• Within 2 hrs, i won $40, roughly.
• Might be more, but i can't rmbr.
• So it's like, i thought it was a mere coincidence.
• In the end, i used the winnings to treat 'em to dinner.

And this time, the poly dudes came over to play mahjong. Man, they're rly heng tt we're gambling with cents. If not, i might have made a killing outta it.

So anyone who wanna donate their money to me, kindly come and gamble at my hse. I guarantee u, i'll definitely accept 'em, whether u like it or not.

-

Celebrated Yi Meng's birthday while those dudes came over to play mahjong. Man, the bday cake sure was a surprise. Buying a pandan cake from Sheng Siong and poking some candles on it, we sang happy birthday to him. Though it would have been better if they juz followed my idea. Instead of using candles, replace with joss sticks. XD Kidding la, piangz.

And so, the whole week passed by without any incidents.

Well, there was one whereby i almost died. On wed, during canoe polo, i capsized and almost couldn't get out.

• Having lost the skill to canoe well, i capsized.
• And it was a real capsize, becuz i was caught by surprise and was yelling at the top of my voice.
• And i went into the water.
• We got a life jacket, tt definitely floats, and a skirt tt we wear at our hips.
• The skirt is used for sealing the canoe hole, such tt water does not get in easily.
• And when i say seal, i mean seal.
• Thus, i was sealed in, life jacket trying to make me float and making me feel worse.
• So it's like, i'm underwater, boat is preventing my head from reaching surface, life jacket trying to make my body reach the surface, and my legs are still sealed inside the canoe.
• This is wat i call, si bei shuang.
• Thankfully, i got more strength than i thought.
• And i succeeded in breaking the seal and making my way to safety.

Ya, not a very exciting way to escape, but hey, i survived. Ain't tt gd enough? And i will nvr ever wear a skirt to seal the canoe hole, it can kill ppl easily.

-

And so, the last gathering for the animals was not the last afterall. Man, i'm so gonna kill jackass for saying 'i can't meet u guys after the hols, we got a'lvls to concentrate on from now on'.

So, went to crab's hse to slack again. Ya, i noe, we can't find anything more interesting to do, but wat to do? The 'No-Money-But-Trying-To-Find-Sth-Fun-To-Do' spirit is in us.

Therefore, for people who pity on us and wanna help us outta our plight, feel free to donate to our funds anytime. We'll greatly appreciate it, and appreciate it even more if u donated actual singapore dollars instead of foreign currency like rupiah or yen.

-

I tink i'm finally cracking up. Juz a few days ago, while slping, i dreamt abt a gal.

In my 17 yrs, 11 months and 2 days of history, i've nvr ever dreamt abt a gal. Yea, i dreamt abt gals, but they come in groups and with other guys as well. In other words, it's a mass dream. So, i wouldn't tink much abt it and forget it the next day.

But this time, it's different. Rly.

Can't rmbr the details. Ya, details, who needs 'em. It was abt this gal i met on the streets. And man, i've nvr, ever, saw this gal in my entire life before. So we tok, got along with one another, went on a date or sth and i forgot the rest.

I swear, i'm rly not desperate for gals or anything. Watever i blogged or tok abt was a 'for fun' thing and it didn't contain any deep content. But now, my mind's actually psychoing me with some random gal outta nowhere.

It is time for me to go back to a life of seclusion and train my mind to not anyhow drift.

i've got attitude; 2:08 am

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